Everything I do is done for the eventual acceptance of my parents

Blog post from 4/2/09 but never posted:

I woke up with this thought.

It is my limiter.

It keeps me on the straight path, but also a narrow path.

Only when I am physically away from them do I sway from their approval, but only so far so that it is undetected due to the physical separation. Nothing directly or intended to be permanent.

I don't know whether I want to break this limiter or not.

Do I want to completely break the limit to test it? No I don't right now.

Not breaking the limiter makes me happy and it has kept me safely on the straight and narrow path, and I'm not sure if breaking the limiter will make me happier.

So I have to figure out if it's worth breaking using baby steps.

I could judge this on a case by case basis if I could identify something outside the limit that is something I want but they don't.

How do I figure out where my desire and their desire are not congruent? It is not a clear distinction in some cases.

How important is their happiness to me? How important is my happiness to them?
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